Invisible Nirvana

 It takes time for a tree to grow

it takes time for a flower to bloom

It takes time for a baby to form in the darkness of the womb

I was reaching for the heavens

I was dreaming of the stars

my growth became thin and weedy

reaching for some invisible Nirvana

So chop me down and burn the firewood

let me start again

this time, my roots strong and deep

aware of my place and the ground around me

grateful for the rain that washes me

and the chance to start again

I do not reach for the heavens

I do not dream of the stars

but I awake each day to a new dawn

and that is more than enough

Human

Here I am, here I am, here I am  

A tiny being, yet fully aware, fully feeling

My heart beating in time with millions of others

dancing over the Earth with our strange soft feet

feeling the breeze on our faces, tiny curls of hair blowing around our ears

We are made of blood, made of water that has always been here

shared in our saturation

our spirits different and yet alike, our quest for knowledge collaborative

our need for healing unanimous

we are people forged from the Earth

inexplicably connected and yet separate

we dance warrior-like

we swim frog-like

we smile, shiny like

we love, we love, we love

Bittersweet

 This year I want to dance more, laugh more, hug more,

present with the sheer joy of living,

soaking in the sacred preciousness of my breath. 

Last year we felt the deep pain of loss,

but in the midst of the bitterness was so much sweetness. 

And that's what makes a life.

The bitterness and the sweetness, 

the birdsong after the darkest of nights.

The magic of an ordinary day, 

highlighted like dust motes in sun rays.

The touch of a hand, soft breath on the cheek,

children's laughter and a glint in the most pixie-like eye.

The kindness of a friend or the unconditional love of an animal,

permeating my heart like water on parched soil.

Life- something alive beyond my understanding,

breathtakingly beautiful, painfully hard.

The blood, sweat and tears, and resounding, deafening grief...

and yet the sweetness so sweet

 it breaks through the brittleness, the stagnancy,

and somehow it is beyond, it is deep, it is beautiful. 

How to be a conduit

We've all been told, "follow your dreams" so many times it no longer feels inspiring, it's more like a tired quote you might find at a tacky gift shop on a fridge magnet. We tried following ours but it's not that simple. How can something so fundamental become so complex and out of reach? You feel the glow of your desires in your heart, you create something with them and share in the hope it will serve humanity- right? However, being human, somewhere along the way ego gets involved. We are told through various sources that our dreams will provide for us financially, that somehow they are connected to manifesting our desires. Vision boards with million dollar cheques on them and large fancy houses with swimming pools. Since when did serving humanity become so self-serving? Well I think there is a grain of truth in it all. I think that if you give of yourself in service you will be given more to give with, but perhaps not how you think. If you give of your words, do not fear, you will wake up with more words the next day. If you are a teacher and you share your insights and wisdom, do not fear, there will be more insights and wisdom waiting for you. If you are a musician there will be more music and song. 

Hold onto that anchor of hope in your heart and don't let go.

Work in progress.